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[August 23rd, 2003 @ 3:06PM ]
She had spent the entire day so far trying to find herself- the woman she use to be before she had lost control over her emotions and thoughts. She had spent a good hour hooked in onto Rogue's stats watching the green computer holigram attentively before her eyes and then fell back on the morals and standards she found hidden in the deepest files of her mind. Althought uploaded and fresh again in her mind, Tessa still felt the strain of being shunned as a human- feeling alone.

If anything she had to get out of the mansion, even if it was just for the night. Stripping off her black jogging pants and black tee she slipped into a tight leather corset, a tight black mini skirt and tall leather hooker boots that came midway up her thighes. She had spent too many hours trying to clear her mind and get ahold of herself. What she needed to do was go out- go out clubbing where she could be relaxed yet get back into the quiet, observent, and semi-reserved state she as well as all her fellow X-Men were use to.

Making her way to the garage she opened the door even before she entered. Slipping into her black BMW convertable and slamming the door shut she blasted her music. Then backing the car out she floored the gas pedel and headed off into the heart of the city.
read my mind

[August 21st, 2003 @ 10:18PM ]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm going crazy and according to the others I'm showing a little too much emotion. Remy and I got into a fight about that. I'm standing my grounds though. Just because I'm a human computer doesn't mean I can't have or express my emotions. I have damn feelings too!

Anyways, things just don't seem right with me. I'm honestly having troubles thinking clearly and I'm not sure why or how to fix it. Don't anybody tell me to reboot myself!

On the other hand Rogue's life is being sustained by for the time being by Mariko, and thanks to Jean's idea. So I thank you both Jean and Mariko.

Reading 1 mind | | read my mind

Taking Leave [August 18th, 2003 @ 8:11AM ]
Slamming a drawer shut Tessa marched over to her bed with a wide selection of leather and vinyl tops and threw them into the black duffel bag on her bed. She was flustered—frustrated and just a bit on the moody side. She didn’t know why she had snapped at Bobby, why she had even thought that Bobby being with Rogue would help let alone work. It was all to much. She was too much for the X-Men to handle and the only way to help matters was for her to leave.

She felt helpless. Rogue was practically dying before her eyes and her sense of knowledge had not only been portraying soft emotions but it had even been disastrously wrong. If there was one thing she didn’t like it was being wrong. She was the one with the computer mind! 99.9% accurate! She never wanted to see that 0.01% inaccuracy… just as much as she didn’t want Rogue to be dying, Bobby to be sharing a body with Emma, or the enemy to exist.

Hair swaying before her eyes, from not putting it up in its regular up do, Tessa found herself indescribably irritated. Bringing her hands to her face she pulled and yanked at the black strands, crying out in aggravation. Sinking onto the side of the bed Tessa buried her face in her hands and cried as she had just done in the infirmary.

“It’s not suppose to be like this,” she whispered as the tears grew in number.
Reading 7 minds | | read my mind

[August 17th, 2003 @ 10:43AM ]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I don't know what to think-- what to do!
Rogue is getting colder by the day. I don't know how's she's still alive, but she's holding in there... for how much longer though is a whole other story.
Maybe its not my place to be saying this but I'm pretty upset about Bobby. While I was down in the infirmary with Jean I caught onto her thoughts. Bobby knows about Rogue's condition, but he's got problems of his own-- seeing he's now sharing a body with Emma. Maybe he has the right to feel threatened by Emma and his actions are somewhat justified, but I still think he should be with Rogue right now.
If your reading this Bobby hear me out. Go to Rogue-- be with her. She may not know your there but when and if she wakes up nothing will warm her heart more. She needs you now. Emma will be of no threat, not when Rogue isn't even fully conscious. And if she tries anything I'll be there to make sure it doesn't go through. Please Bobby. Go down to the infirmary and be with Rogue-- give her hope. Hopefully you'll read this before I find you, because if I get to you before you get to this your in for a rude awakening. Just on a side note, Bobby, as I told Jean, the only reason I'm being so forceful-- even perhaps threatening about you being down there with Rogue regardless of Emma is because if I were her I'd want you down there. I'm not much of a romance fanatic and haven't had that many great relationships with guys, but I know what I'm telling you is for real.

Reading 4 minds | | read my mind

Losing Rogue [August 15th, 2003 @ 5:01AM ]
Tessa stared at the computer screen before her. Rogue wasn't making any improvements, her temperature had even dropped a couple more degrees. Shaking her head sadly she turned up the heat in the incubator a few more degrees. "Come on, Rogue, warm up babes. We don't want to lose you." Rolling her seat out she knelt beside the transparent tube where Rogue lay shivering. Placing a single hand on it in hopes that Rogue would reach out in response she watched as Rogue continued to shake.

Gambit had left for a bit to pursue a couple of peronsal duties and she wasn't quite sure where Jean had slipped off to for the moment being. And then thinking about how Rogue was feeling she wondered where Bobby was. Wouldn't Bobby have known about Rogue's situation by now? -- nearly the whole institute did. Didn't he want to be by her side giving her hope or whatever a boyfriend does to comfort his ill counterpart?

Tessa's attention suddenly snapped back to the computer screen as a low toned beep came from the monitor. Quickly running over she saw that Rogue's temperature had dropped yet again. "No!" she cried banging her fist on the steel desk top. "No!"

I don't know what to do, Jean. I'm losing her. What do I do?"
read my mind

[August 6th, 2003 @ 4:10PM ]
[ mood | tired ]

Things are beginning to stir up again. Remy can sense it. He's getting me to help him try and figure it out-- just the two of us.

I checked out Rogue's gadget. Its definitly been crafted by Xavier and some other anonymous people. Apparently it also definitly works. Rogue said she used it to, umm, touch Bobby. The only problem is is that it leaves a terrible scar, 3 to be exact. Her wrist is bruised from the one time use and I'm afraid if she uses it excessively it can be quite harmful and risky. I've warned her. Hopefully she'll pay heed to my words, but then again she is pretty stubborn.

Well that seems to be all for now. Logging off.

read my mind

[July 24th, 2003 @ 2:43PM ]
[ mood | pensive ]

I talked to Remy the night before. I found him up on the roof alone. The man may able to block out telepathes but he's none too good and keeping those feelings hidden. I not only know how to read minds, I've also become quite expert at reading the emotions expressed through peoples attitudes, body language, and even their eyes. And Remy, he was no happy guy.

When I first arrived back at the mansion a few days ago, by the pool, I knew Remy had feelings for Rogue. The way he looked at her- longfully or as if she were his ideal dream lady- sex symbol- his eyes told it all. That night, though, when I went to the roof he was a defeated, lost, and un-hopeful being. He knew Rogue was too far in love with Bobby to give him a real chance. But he wants it to be that way- no monkey in the middle senario. He's given up on Rogue and is now anticipating a new and more hopeful relationship- one that I can say is closer than he realizes.

Reading 4 minds | | read my mind

[July 19th, 2003 @ 4:13PM ]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Finally home at last. It feels good to be home- back at the institute with familiar faces and even those that are new.
Rogue started an unannounced swim party this morning, so instead of trying to enter the scene again without making a big enterance, hence my coming in through the backyard, I ended up becoming the center of attention. I ended up meeting Amanda, a gypsy from Germany, Gambit, who seems to have eyes out for Rogue and weary thoughts for myself, Mystique- she was a little hard to read for me, and Alex, apparently also another brand new joiner in from last night as well as Scott's little brother... he also seems to be trying to put a tab on me.

Well, a lot of things have gone down since I left. I can read everyone that I met today like a book. They all seem fairly happy for the time being but I sense some tension. I plan to further investigate whether it be by talking with Rogue or using my telepathic gift.

Reading 3 minds | | read my mind

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